People often ask me, So…..What does a funeral celebrant actually do?!
Well, every celebrant is different, but here’s what to expect if you book me (Joy Neal) to be your funeral celebrant:
First, we arrange a convenient time and place for a meeting and I I allow plenty of time to meet with you (and anyone else who wants to be involved) to find out about the person at the heart of the ceremony. Often I come to your home as people tend to feel more relaxed there.
Before the meeting I will email you a comprehensive checklist of things you might want to have thought about beforehand or discussed with other family members. I can also help you understand different options for how a funeral can run, and offer suggestions for rituals, readings and other content you may wish to incorporate. If you havent already booked a venue or enlisted a Funeral Director I can make recommendations.
At our meeting, I will do my best to put you at ease and 'demystify' the process of planning a funeral. I ask lots of questions and take lots of notes, and I then go away and write a totally bespoke ceremony which centres and reflects your person in the way that you want them to be remembered. I email a first draft to you in plenty of time so that you can read through it, and we can make any changes that might be needed. I spend between 3-6 hours writing each funeral - so it's quite a big job!
It’s really important to me to get the tone and content right for every ceremony I write, and so we can have as many conversations/emails as needed until you’re happy with the final version! (....my record for one particular funeral was 23 different drafts!!)
I check in with you regularly in the run up to the funeral and make sure that all your questions are answered. I also liaise with funeral directors, venue coordinators and any other suppliers to make sure everything is organised.
On the day I arrive early at the venue to check that everything is in order. I’ll be there to meet you when you arrive, and work alongside the funeral directors (if you are using FDs) to ensure that everything runs smoothly.
I then deliver the ceremony, coordinating with any other speakers/performers and bringing calm, reassurance, humour, solemnity or whatever is needed in the moment.
A big part of my role as celebrant is to be a sort of ‘energetic container’, for all the inevitable big emotions that are present at this sort of occasion, and working in a flexible and intuitive way on the day to acknowledge and hold space for whatever arises.
The run-up to a funeral can be quite an intense time. Often I work closely with families or individuals over a period of 2-4 weeks as we are co-creating a send-off for their person. I’m always blown away by how generous people are in inviting me into their homes and their lives, sharing stories and memories with me, and entrusting me with those precious gifts. I see it as a great responsibility and a huge privilege to be the person who gets to tell those stories and hold space for this important moment of farewell.
I often feel quite sad after a funeral that my interaction with that person or family is over because they’ve taken up a place in my heart, and I continue to think of them. It’s always lovely to hear from people afterwards, and the hugest honour when they recommend me to their friends or relatives (and a nice opportunity to check in with them again!). In fact I’m doing a wedding this summer for a couple who I met when I was working on her Grandma’s funeral last year, and I was really touched when they contacted me to tell me they were engaged and would like me to be their wedding celebrant! I’ve also done Baby Naming and Adoption Ceremonies for people after I’ve been involved with a funeral for their family member, and I love the continuity that offers.
If you'd like to speak to me about an upcoming funeral or celebration of life, please get in touch!
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